So Old

So I've only been in the country for two weeks, but it has felt like years (in a good way).

Handy hint - when going to a country where they do things the opposite way to what you're used to (eg which lane of the road to drive on, how they write dates), don't take everyone's very useful advice of "just remember to do things backwards", because when you start to get used to it and start doing things properly, you'll still remember "it's backwards" and confusion will totally take you out.

Hence why anyone looking at any of my paperwork will determine that I now have two birthdays, one on May 12, and one on December 5.

Strangeness: Movies get 'R' ratings for strong language, and even late-night movies on TV get mild swearwords like FUCK and SHIT censored out. It's kind of strange because you watch drugs/violence movies like Traffic or Blow, and it takes the edge off what should be shocking - it's like "well, all these polite and well-spoken people are doing naughty things, naughty things must be good!"

Shazaym

So this week has been one of the most super nuts crazy weeks of my life.

My body never really felt that knackered from the jetlag, but it's contributed to my brain being more scrambled than I've ever known it to be - I struggle to find an analogy (the ooga booga caveman in a rock concert one was the best), but it is at once totally intimidating (everyone's so smart, I'm sooo stupid) and totally awesome. It's like whole trees of unused synapses are bursting into life, leaving no time for normal brain activity, so I sort of stumble around like some sort of paranoid, wide-eyed, drooling zombie.

Work's never ever been this much fun. I just hope I can live up to expectation.

Wonkey Zonga

It's 5am, and I haven't slept in two hours. Partially because of the jetlag, but mostly because whoever designed this apartment building decided that rain wasn't funky enough and designed it so that all drainpipes would end in bongo drums.

Helloooooo America

I was in the shuttle bus to my temporary apartment, and I was looking around in a jetlagged, cramped-plane daze, looking at all the little differences that make everything else seem overly weird, when it hit me "oh shit ... I live here now".

My parents both moved to Oxford, England to do their PhDs when they were almost exactly my age, I wonder how it must've been for them. Especially my mother, who six years before that had moved to Australia to do her undergrad.

It's two months 'til Lauren flys over here to start her post-doc at Stanford, I'm wondering how much I'll have changed by then. I suppose it'll be nothing profound; I'll just be fatter or something.

Oh, and since we're talking about acadenerdia, I handed in my final Masters project the day before I left. Fingers crossed.

So .. tired.

Japan

Well, my Japan trip is turning out a little boring - after sleeping for half of the plane trip, I slept for twelve hours at the hotel (from where I'm currently accessing the internet through a 'timetron'), ate breakfast (oh man, they have chips in the buffet .. total bacon and chip buttie time) and here I am. Aside from two convenience stores, it doesn't look like there's anything within walking distance, and the place seems to be allergic to providing people with maps. My flight leaves too soon to really let me go anywhere fun (even the buses into Narita city would only give me fifteen minutes there before I'd have to leave), so I guess I'll just have to come back some other time.

This non-city area (Narita) doesn't really feel all that different from Thailand, just cleaner and with even more politeness. And shop staff who will speak in English to the blonde european in front of me, but then refuse to believe I don't understand Japanese when it's my turn. Curse this half-asianness!

So looong Melbourne

The removalists have done their work, and I'm left here in my empty apartment with my laptop, luggage and DSL modem. The only item of concern is bedding - my beds, blankets and pillows have gone by sea freight, so they'll arrive at least a month after I'm in my own apartment over there. This leaves me with an apartment containing the things I airfreighted (PC, Bike), and nothing to sleep on.

This is a pretty minor worry, but I'm fixating on it as otherwise I'll think of other things to get stressed out about.

Some non-standard notes for those doing the same:

• Get scanned copies of your signature, passport and visa - you will be sending a lot of forms (particularly for customs), and it's very convenient to insert your signature into a PDF and send it (or fax it through an internet fax service).
• When you get people in to clean your apartment, if they have a photo of a steam cleaning machine on their site, check that the company actually offers steam cleaning, as otherwise your real estate agent will get cross at you after you come back after the 'full super awesome bond clean' service and find that your carpet and walls still have all those dust-bunny shadows showing where each computer sat.
• Despite months of repeated verbalised intentions of organised, civilized 'at home' goodbyes, you will totally cave and let everyone see you off at the airport.
• Use it all as an excuse to stuff your face with local foods that you pretend (rightly or wrongly) you're not going to get made the same way at the place you're going. For me this is spring lamb, Little Creatures (beer), souvlaki, flake, coffee, vegemite and crisp aussie savoury pies.
• Also, for 'comparison purposes', use this as an excuse to stuff your face with all the local food you're expecting your destination to make seventy times as megaly. For me this is hamburgers and burritos (not that I can be bothered going to the one place in Melbourne that sells burritos).
• Don't forget to pick up all your shirts from the washing and ironing ladies as otherwise you might have to walk around in a singlet and people will think you are from the country.

Goodbye friends and family, we've said our goodbyes and that most of you have or will soon jet off to your own corner of the world, so may we be like that crazy slug thing that splits into bits that do their own thing, then squishes back into a crazy slug thing.

Goodbye Melbourne, it's been sixteen years since I moved to you from England, and in that time I came love you and your bonkers weather system more biglots than anywhere else. I KISS YOU!

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